Love and Logic....the First Saga

My four year old has been giving me attitude problems lately. Talking back, yelling, not listening...you get the idea, being a four year old. Unfortunately, I seem to be hard wired to get really pissed off at all this disrespect. I am like a bull with a red flag. My first instinct is to make her do what I want, when I say, and dammit don't question me!

I am aware that this method is ridiculous because I myself do whatever I damn please regardless of what I am told to do. I wouldn't expect anything less of my darling offspring either. So I decided to do what I always do when I am at a loss, find books on the subject and absorb all the information until my head is about to explode. Do you know how many parenting/discipline books there are? Do a search on Amazon and you will get back 1300 hits. How the hell do I read 1300 books?!

I saw a few recommendations online about this Love and Logic method so I perused the book in Barnes and Noble one day and it seemed to make sense. It also called for complete calmness by the parent at all times.....yeah, ok, that is not going to happen but I am willing to give it a shot.

This is highlights of the last two weeks since I have been implementing this method:

Day 1: Morgan spends two hours crying in and out of her bedroom because she doesn't want to get dresssed.
Day 3: She goes to the store in the car in just her underwear and a t-shirt because she did not get dressed by the appointed time
Day 6: She goes to karate in her pajamas because she was not dressed by the appointed time
Day 8: She throws a 30 minute fit because she did not want to take a bath and therefore missed her nightly viewing of Caillou
Day 9: She gets dressed all by herself for school, brushes her hair and teeth and tells me that she doesn't want to be late.....(what?)

I'll keep you posted on the rest.....now if only I can get Ryan to read this book, he is totally lost on what I am doing.

All worked up

I have had people accuse me of being 'laid back' which came as a shock to me when I first heard it in my twenties. I get so frustrated over so many stupid things that the very idea of being viewed as calm never occurred to me.

I am pretty sure that the only reason I come across as laid back is that I learned a long time ago that stress makes me a very ugly person. To combat this stress I just let a lot of stuff slide. Crumbs on the floor, dog hair, bitchy people, idiot drivers....I let it all go.

Who cares that some loser in Target gave me a dirty look because I accidentally said a curse word in front of their kid? They can bite me.
So what if the dog has severe gastrointestinal issues that means I have to get up and let her out at 4am? At least I am not the one with diarrhea so bad I can't sit down.
So what if I had to bail out 100's of gallons of water out of my basement last week? At least I got a good work out and a healthy respect for what mother nature can do. By the way, she can bite me also.

So you see, I am not lazy or naive, I just choose not to turn myself into a horrible person by agonizing over things that in the end really don't matter. I suppose it is up to the individual to decide what is worth stressing over. Do you like a spotless house? By all means, clean away because it would be stressful for you to live in disarray. Do you feel that your appearance needs to be just so? Take an hour to get ready because it would be stressful for you to leave the house under dressed.

For me, I suppose, I am only insistent on a few things: healthy food for me and my family, my skin care regimen, knowing where everything is and having my computers work exactly how I like them to. No, these things do not always happen.

Morgan for President

I came to the conclusion the other day that kids know everything. Even the younger ones are born knowing everything they could ever know. My years of experience have nothing on the instant wisdom in which every child claims to have. I thought it was just my four year old that was super knowledgeable but in talking to other parents I realize that this is a widespread phenomenon. This superiority would make Morgan a perfect candidate for President. She could fix the economy, health care, and budget issues all before she finishes her juice box.

Does anyone hear the sarcasm here?

Can anyone tell that I am sooooo tired of hearing 'I know' when I inform a child about watching out for that puddle that she almost stepped in?

Or 'That is not how you do it' when clearly Morgan's method of putting on lip gloss on her eyebrows is not working.

I also don't want to hear anything about how I like to do everything by myself and can clearly remember giving my own mother hell about how I do NOT want help because I am just fine.

Pay back is a bitch.

Wisdom Teeth Extraction Survival Kit

For some reason I like to make up 'Survival Kits' in my head. I wrote a post about a Newborn Survival Kit here and it seems to get quite a bit of Google traffic. I am betting it is from new mothers who are up at 4am with a screaming child, desperate for something they can buy that will fix everything. Of course, they come across my useless post which makes them even more desolate but I digress....
Today would be day five of getting all my wisdom teeth out and it occurs to me that other people may be wondering how to survive this pain in the ass surgery. So here is the little list of things that have been immensely helpful:

Image via Wikipedia

1. Pain killers. I cannot stress this enough, take the damn pills.
2. Soup. The Campbells Soup at Hand has been a life saver. I would avoid the broccoli one though because the little bits of veggies get stuck in your freshly split gums.
3. Ice cream and popsicles
4. Oatmeal
5. Yogurt
6. Applesauce
7. Milk
8. Baked beans
9. Mashed potatoes
   
10. Ice packs and warm packs for your face.
11. Child size toothbrush and spoons. It is ridiculous how little your jaw will open. I still can barely fit an adult size fork in my mouth.
12. Salt water. You swish with this after you eat anything.
13. A baby sitter. The pain is bearable if you are laying in bed but it is excruciating if you have to focus and think about the kids.
    
14. Don't watch any commercials on TV or read any food magazines. I am so hungry for real food it is actually painful to watch Rachael Ray.

I never realized how much I would miss eating salad until this week. I would kill for a good organic spring mix with cheese, tuna, chick peas, olives, veggies, and a good vinaigrette. The only two good things I can say about this experience is my excellent oral surgeon and the fact that I have lost two pounds in 5 days (I never lose weight!).

UPDATE: Two more things to mention....get this surgery done when you are young and heal quicker and don't get dry socket! Holy crap, my recovery from childbirth was better than the pain of dry socket. If you are unfortunate enough to get this, buy some clove oil (Eugenol) and go back to your dentist for a dressing that they tuck into the hole in your gums (Percocets didn't even make a dent). The pain was so bad I actually looked forward to going to the dentist and having him shove blissfully numbing gauze in a fresh wound.

The Great Screw Over

I will admit it here on my blog for the first time ever.

Cover via Amazon

I am obsessed with food.

It is not that I am a super health freak or something because I am most definitely not. I just love to read about nutrition and try to follow some of the things that I can incorporate into my life painlessly. One of the magazines that I love to read is my husbands Men's Health. They have a column (now also a book) called 'Eat This, Not That' which I am eternally grateful for because they expose all the hiding calories in many restaurants dishes. You would not believe the crap that restaurants will add to their food to make it 'tasty' or 'hearty'. I call it a waste of chemicals and fat.

I have to hand it to McDonalds, sure their menu is full of seriously fattening, unhealthy choices but at least they are up front about their nutrition information. I don't think anyone in this day and age has any delusions that a Big Mac and Fries are anything resembling healthy. When I eat there I am well aware of how many calories I am splurging on because I read the nutrion facts on the back of the tray cover as I am eating.

Recently, I read the '10 Worst Sandwiches in America'. Feel free to peruse the list and come back to finish reading this post. I'll wait.
10 Worst Sandwiches

Ok, let's start with #4. How the hell can a 'vegetarian' sandwich have 1100 calories in it? What is wrong with restaurants that they can ruin a perfectly nutrious sandwich that fools some poor slob on the Biggest Loser into thinking they are eating well.

#6 from Red Robin was a shame. I LOVE Red Robin. I have eaten that sandwich and loved it (granted it was huge so I only ate half, but still!)

#1 is a disgrace! Seriously, is there anyone that you can think of that needs a 2000 calorie sandwich? Unless you have been recently rescued from the brink of starvation in the middle of the Atlantic, you might want to skip this meal. Actually, you might want to skip it anyway, it didn't sound all that good.

Oh and if you want to know how many calories you chug down in your beer every night. Check this link out.
40 Top Beers

I am warning you though, it is definitely based on calories, not taste. Most of my favorites were in the 150-200 calorie range.

Why it sucks getting old....

I have two severely damaged thigh muscles due to a 30 minute Crunch Pilates DVD yesterday.

I am just now getting over a cough that turned into bronchitis 2 weeks ago. My one year old was nice enough to give me this ailment and she was cough/snot free in two days.

My wisdom teeth are coming in and making my entire face hurt. It took me two days to realize this was the problem because I thought it was a side effect of said previous cold.

I will have to get aforementioned wisdom teeth removed and I am not looking forward to the recovery time. Kids don't care that you feel like shit and therefore the no-mercy rules apply.

I have to pee more often than I really think I should

My husband complains more often than I really think he should. This would be a side effect of him getting older too.

I complain in my blog more often than I should.

Kids Love a Good Deal

What is it with kids and infomercials? I have never really paid much attention to these cheesy, 2 minute long ads except to make fun of all of them. You have the classics - Set and Forget It, Ginsu knives, OxiClean, Magic Bullet, and of course Tony Little and his Gazelle. However, I have noticed that there are a lot of infomercials on the channels that Morgan likes to watch. At first I thought that these commercials were for all the adults that may be watching with their kids. How wrong I was and how clever are the marketing geniuses behind it.
I have seen my four year old watch these commercials with eyes bright and mouth open. When the mere mention of a 'free gift with order' comes on she is positively foaming at the mouth. Bendaroos, Touch n Brush, Magic Soap, Big Top Cupcake and the Snuggie are just to name a few that I have been instructed to buy. Morgan actually came to me the other day and said 'Mommy, I can't find any of my clothes. I need Wonder Hangers'. Ok, first of all, she can't find any of her clothes because they are all on the floor and secondly, I am not buying these hangers so she can get the free stick up light that comes with it.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go make a giant cupcake with pudding in the middle.